Gender Equality Activists Protest Against the Lack of Dad Jokes

During our time at Oxford, we’ve all heard our share of mum jokes. Who can forget Eddie’s classic mom joke — ‘yo momma’s so fat that theists got the idea of omnipresence from her’ — that is now being taught to English Literature students in universities all over English-speaking countries, and the US. However, over the last weekend, gender equality activists have been protesting against the lack of high-quality dad jokes outside the allegedly phallic-looking Oxford Mom Joke Research Center (OMJRG). According to witnesses at the scene, a number of protesters verbally assaulted researchers from OMJRG. Quotes include: ‘Yo daddy is so fat, when he sat down in Tesco, he lowered the prices.’ The OMJRP researchers declined to comment, citing reasons related to their lacrimal glands. A representative from the protestors, Ben Dover, told Chris P. Bacon, a reporter from The Oxford Student: ‘Our goal is to normalize making jokes about fat dads. Fat-shaming is obviously wrong, but we feel that fat-shaming while discriminating is even worse. You know what else is wrong by the way? Your dad’s appetite, because he is so fat that his belly button gets home 15 minutes before he does.’

In an unrelated incident, a reporter from The Oxford Student shows no sign of stopping even though he has been crying for five days.

Oxford Mom Joke Research Center, image from Wikimedia Commons

* This is a satire piece that I wrote for (and was published by) the Oxford Student.